Not ones to do things by halves, a couple of weeks ago we had a couple of weddings - both ours. If we were super famous, the account might look something like this :
4.5/5 - Weirdest shit we’ve ever seen (Q Magazine)
But we’re not famous, so it’s actually:
5/5 - Well, it’s like nothing I have ever witnessed, or will ever witness again (Beth’s Nan)
We are quite impressed, with Beth’s Nan being 100 years old, she has witnessed a lot, including a world war, so we are putting that in our back pockets as a win.
(photo by Ian Tilbrook)
So the wedding actually started with a road trip. A loooooooooooooong road trip, featuring the likes of S-Express (with a song we are pretty sure includes the lyric ‘ooooh my anus’ over and over again). We, of course, were heading to our favourite place - Aberystwyth. With the likes of a car now, we managed to also avoid our least favourite place - Birmingham New Street train station. Huzzah!
We decided to take the beautiful A-roads for the 5 hour drive. The sun shone, we ate some Quorn picnic eggs and drank flask coffee. Beth negotiated the bends expertly sending packs of crisps and toiletries flying around the car at 60 mph. Dean, of course, negotiated the play list (which explains ohhhhh my anus…)
(photo by Adele MoriArty)
When we arrived at the accommodation we were told ‘press 1 on the remote for the lights, and button 2 turns on the dragon’. Well, to say that we were petrified to press 2 would be an understatement. What does it mean? Is it a sound system? An actual live dragon that will steal our gold? The joke, of course, would be on the dragon. I think the only gold we have ever owned was actually chocolate, craftily disguised as gold.
On bonfire day (most romantic day/night of the year in Beth’s opinion) we got married in a registry office in Aberystwyth. The beauty of this was twofold: 1. Our marriage certificate is in Welsh, and 2. We got to share the day with two kooky Welsh birds (Adele and Trudy). The pair had come a long way to witness for us, and put themselves up in the hotel next to The Olive Branch (our fave foodie place, what are the chances?!) So we met for some lunch and discussed art, life and poetry. Trudy surprised us with two lovely poems - one Welsh, and one self penned. All in all adding to the creativity and togetherness that we love the most. Thank you Adele and Trudy, we couldn’t have done it without you.
To make very long story just a long story - we had a very lovely time. We ate some local food at local bars, pubs and restaurants. We ate at our favourite Greek restaurant - The Olive Branch, have we mentioned it? We illegally picked pebbles, flotsam and jetsam from the beaches of Aberystwyth, Aberaeron and New Quay. We shared in the company of speckled seagulls, dolphins, and a dog called Bryn (and his owner… Bob). Bob told us this time of year was the best for seeing the dolphins because the tourists don’t scare them away. Awkward. We spoke of how one day we may not be tourists and would like to call somewhere like this: home. We listened to the sound of the sea lazily lapping the shore. We were shocked on Friday when friends told us to get home safe - as we were enjoying the blistering sunshine in Wales, our home town had been completely flooded. We seemed to miss all the natural disasters as our friends messaged on Saturday to tell us it was a good job we left when we did, as Aberystwyth had a snow storm and most of the roads were closed on Saturday. At this point, we should probably mention that we came home to our house plastered with ‘Just Married’ and ‘Congratulations’ signs… Oh… And two blow up sheep in a questionable position tied to our door handle. Thanks to all at Higham Press for the effort put into that, and the invites, of course!
(Thanks Adele for the photo’s)
On to the party on Saturday! This was the real deal. We had a Geordie vicar (the very reverend Fordzy). Tables set up with kooky charity shop items (that mostly got stolen at the end of the night… We want our kissing cats back you heathens!), love-heart boxes full of chocolate hedgehogs (Thank you Chocolatellie in Chesterfield) and glasses full of pebbles and bamboo light sticks. Dean donned his shirt with tigers on. Beth donned her second, secret, dress. The Jude walked Beth down the aisle to a song sung by the late, great, Pete Aveyard, so Pete still got to walk his daughter down the aisle, too. The vicar broke into a rap half way through the ceremony. We got confused as to which friend had whose ring.
(photo by Ian Tilbrook)
Ichabod Wolf sang the first dance song. Sign of a Teaspoon regaled us with some 80’s synth pop on ukulele’s (we dragged them out of retirement). We played a song about why a young woman should never marry an older man (not sure why?). Sophie Pitchford, Ian Tilbrook, and Tim Gilpin took the photo’s for the night (and bloody fantastic they are!) Charlotte and Will from Hop and Hoof and All Fired Up Pizza co did the bar and AMAZING wood fired pizza’s and halloumi fries. Jude helped massively with the funding of the project and the wonderful bouquet. Chocolatellie made a three tier waterfall cake with carrot cake, red velvet cake and Victoria sponge, and 120 chocolate hedgehogs in varying colours for all the guests. Morton Village Hall gave us the perfect spot to host all this. Thank you to so many people that travelled so far to celebrate with us (the farthest being Tenerife, well done Charley!). Beth put in countless hours to make the boxes for the hedgehogs and the lights for the tables. Dean put in even more making the playlist for the disco and the projection of old cartoons for the backdrop.
(Thanks Sophie Pitchford for the photo’s)
Last, but by no means the least, thank you so much to Keith Ford. Without the very reverend Fordzy, the night would not have been the same, if you watch the video, you’ll know what I mean. Also, to the lovely reverend’s wife, Theresa, for all the help with the huuuuge cleanup operation at one in the morning, because there was a children’s party the next day at 11am in the hall. Yikes.
And to everyone else for the effort, support, dancing and love that went into the gig of a lifetime. We are very blessed and very humbled to have the most incredible group of reprobates in our lives, and you all made our wedding the epitome of us, a collective, a commune of love, harmony and cwtch. Thank you all so much. Here’s to the anniversary party!
(Thanks Ian Tilbrook for the photo’s)
(Thanks Tim Gilpin for the photo’s)
