Crookes - what can we say? Well, read on you’ll find out just what we can say, and in fact - what we do say! ‘Crookes’ from the Greek meaning ‘many, many, massive hills’. Also from the Norse meaning ‘not a good time to find out your handbrake doesn’t work, eh?’. Also from the Canadian ‘that’s not a waterfall, this is a waterfall’. Everything means that in Canadian. Silly goose. Canadian goose.
So, Beth puts her handbrake on as the car slowly creeks down the hill behind The Princess Royal.
Beth: Crookes.
Dean: What?
Beth: Oh, it’s Norse for ‘not a goose time to find out your handbrake doesn’t work, eh?’
Dean: Goose time?
Beth: Yeah, language acquisition is weird. Or a mistranslation.
Dean: Right. Thought it was something about waterfalls.
So, we moved the car to where the gradient was less steep. It creaked at a slower pace down the hill. Using the formula distance = speed x time we calculated we wouldn’t hit the car in front for about an hour - so we would have to make the gig quick. The smarter contingent of the band (with the working handbrake) managed to find a spot right in front of the pub. With a small space behind them Beth and Dean made a quick decision that it is better to park behind, and crash into, a friend’s Tesla, than it is to roll slowly into a stranger’s Fiat - so they brought the car round and prayed to the Norse god of handbrakes. Once inside and over the Greek tragedy ‘Ode to a Broken Handbrake’ we began to unpack the menagerie of instruments. Only, Beth was a bit unwell on this occasion and there was the addition of a microphone and an amp - because we simply do not have enough to carry already.
It’s been a while since the gig and we have slept and been quite ill at times since then, so we apologise for any names we forget or get wrong. One thing is for sure - the quality of floor spots was amazing, and borderline intimidating. Not just some fabulous folky covers - but also some brilliant self-penned stuff, too. There was even a song in a completely different language! It was a small audience that made for an intimate gig, which we loved! Usually it’s just Beth rambling away telling terrible puns (and on occasion Ian, when she can really just throw him straight in the fire to tell his chicken joke) but the audience participation in the jokes was much appreciated. We have doubled our joke repertoire from one to two thanks to Ian Almond for the monkey joke. We like to keep it animal themed.
We cannot recommend this club highly enough. A lovely warm welcome from Steve Cooper and all the other audience members - we even got a whoop when we started playing I Once Loved a Lass (thanks Roger). Lastly we want to thank the unbelievable generosity of the audience that night. It’ll all go towards another day of mixing or mastering for the first, bona fide, studio album. We even got a lucky dip for the lotto! Sadly a loser, but the thought of winning and being paid more than Led Zep for a single gig in an attic room pub was amusing and payment enough.
Check your handbrake works and get yourself down to (or up to) Crookes on a Thursday night at The Princess Royal, Slinn Street, Sheffield. You will not be disappointed (unless you happen to turn up on a night that we are playing, then we make absolutely no promises).
